Washington: The Ministry of Funny Forms
In Washington, you have three kinds of people: Congresspersons who really only work from Tuesday noon to Friday noon. Highly-paid government bureaucrats who rise from their sleep-number beds outside of D.C., climb into their Lexus or other Japanese-made luxury cars and listen to National Public Radio (NPR) all the way to their marble-clad offices in downtown D.C. The lobbyists, who live in ultra-expensive Georgetown, drive their Rolls, Bentleys, Jaguars, or big Mercedes all the way down to “K” Street where an attractive intern is waiting to chauffeur them up to Capitol Hill so they can tell law-makers to enact the new government programs suggested by NPR or they won’t hold big fund-raisers for them with lots of big shrimp (oxymoron) served by willing interns leftover from the Clinton White House.
Some of the bureaucrats work in the Ministry of Funny Forms. Let’s say, for example, that you want to purchase a firearm from a federally-licensed firearms dealer. Part I of ATF Form 4473 (5300.9) asks you to self-certify about 12 aspects of your personal life. Certification 12 f asks, in so many words: Are you insane? (I swear folks. I am not making this up.) How would an insane person know whether he or she is insane or not? And, if so, would he or she admit it? (To lie on 12 f might be an indication of sanity.)
But wait, there’s more. 12 d asks: “Are you a fugitive from justice?” Okay. Let’s assume you are a fugitive from justice who really, really wants to purchase a firearm to commit more crimes. Should you lie and check the block that says “no?” Or, should you admit the truth? One wonders how actual fugitives handle this tough question. (On the back of the form are instructions in a print size ideal for scientists equipped to deal with elements at the molecular level.)
How about question 12 b? “Are you under indictment or information in any court for a felony, or any other crime, for which the judge could imprison you for one year?” Twelve c: Asks if you have been convicted of the crimes mentioned in 12b? Twelve e: Wants to know if you are a drug addict? Twelve h: Asks if you are under some kind of restraining order? Twelve j: Poses a question that might have troubled young Barry Soetoro (AKA Barack H. Obama) applying for a college-tuition grant: “Have you ever renounced your U.S. citizenship?” Twelve h: “Are you an alien illegally in the U.S.?” Finally, 12 i: “Are you a nonimmigrant alien?”
What if a fugitive, felony-crime-convicted, insane, drug addict, illegal alien, who once renounced his or her U.S. citizenship, stated the truth on this government form which, no doubt, was written by the same kind of bureaucrats who just took $716 billion out of Medicare and put it into ObamaCare? Confronted with these truthful disclosures, what should the gun dealer do?
We know Mr. Obama has instructed federal agents to ignore federal immigration law. Plus, the courts don’t want local police enforcing federal immigration law. So, in the spirit of the U.S. Attorney General’s Operation Fast and Furious, should the gun dealer just take the cash and sell the applicant the weapon, or what? We report. You decide.
Nationally syndicated columnist, William Hamilton, was educated at the University of Oklahoma, the George Washington University, the U.S Naval War College, the University of Nebraska, and Harvard University.
©2012. William Hamilton.
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