The "other" Iraq Submission Group Report
Hopefully, the Iraq Submission Group (ISG) filed a top-secret version of its report with President Bush – a version that proposes something meaningful, rather than the milk-toast, bureaucratic proposals contained in the 79 recommendations over which the Sinistra Media are fawning. By the way, the very word Islam means “submission,” so my barbed, alternative name for the ISG is, linguistically, right on the mark. If there is not a more meaningful, top-secret version, then one must conclude these very elder ISG statespersons are non compost mentis, meaning not just senile, but full of manure, as well.
Let’s assume, however, that the ISG slipped President Bush a top-secret report containing some really meaningful recommendations such as:
“Define victory for the American people and the world as follows: Look, we already achieved our goal of regime change by toppling Saddam Hussein; however, in addition, the Kurds, the Shiites and the Sunni each get a fair share of Iraq’s oil. None of Iraq’s oil revenues go to fund terrorism directed against the United States and its allies. The Iranians do not get to invade across the southern tier of Iraq to capture the oil ports on the Al Faw Peninsula and the oil facilities around Basra. Nor do the Iranians get to march across the southern tier of Iraq to capture the oil fields of Saudi Arabia or Kuwait.
“As long as the Shiites and Sunnis leave our friends the Kurds alone and just want to kill each other, fine. The Kurds get to have their own autonomous region free from interference from the Turks to their north, the Iranians to their East and the Sunnis to their South. Forget naïve, Wilsonian rhetoric about bringing freedom and democracy to peoples with no history of it, and are not likely to ever understand freedom and democracy as envisioned by Thomas Jefferson and our other Founders. That, Mr. President, is how to define victory.
“As for troop redeployments, get our troops out of the cities of Iraq where our successes at combat-in-cities cause the collateral damage so gleefully seized upon by the Sinistra Media in their quest to make Coalition Forces look bad around the world and, especially, on the Arab street.
“Place major forces to protect the oil facilities that lie between Iran and Saudi Arabia and Kuwait. Deploy the kinds of highly mobile brigades, as envisioned by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, astride the major routes between Syria and Baghdad and Iran and Baghdad.
“Station the abovementioned forces in fire bases with large enough perimeters to prevent enemy mortars and missiles from reaching the central core of the firebases where the essential airstrips for our helicopters and resupply cargo aircraft would be located.
“These steps, Mr. President, will get our troops out of the crossfire between the Shiites and the Sunnis while, at the same, maintaining a sustainable Coalition presence in the Middle East capable of protecting our vital interests which are: continued access to Arabian Gulf oil and delaying the time when Iran becomes the dominant power in the region.
“Regrettably, Iran will continue to play the United Nations like a fiddle while Iran achieves nuclear weapons designed to intimidate its Arab neighbors and designed to deliver a death blow to Israel. Nothing short of preemptive actions by Israel and/or the United States will prevent a nuclear-armed Iran.
“Our remarks about a Palestinian “right of return” were just rhetoric to make the Eastern Establishment, blue-blood, WASP, anti-Semites in the U.S. Department of State and the Sinistra Media happy. As you know, it’s the Jews who have a “right of return” after their 5,000-year life in the Land of Canaan ended when the Romans destroyed Judea, destroyed the Temple in Jerusalem and scattered the Jews to the four winds – the Diaspora. Historically, the Palestinians are Jihadies-come-lately.
“Forget what we said about giving the Golan Heights to Syria because Syria would, once again, use that high ground to target Israeli villages for artillery and missile fire.”
Satire aside, if, in fact, a top-secret version of the ISG report were to exist, The New York Times would rush it to publication. That, you can believe.
Syndicated columnist, William Hamilton, is a Distinguished Graduate of the U.S. Naval War College and a former research fellow at the U.S. Military History Institute of the U.S. Army War College. He is the co-author of The Grand Conspiracy and The Panama Conspiracy – two thrillers about terrorism directed against the United States.
©2006. William Hamilton.