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CENTRAL VIEW for Monday, July 15, 2024

by William Hamilton, J.D., Ph.D.

From Walden Pond to AI Battle

With the current domestic political scene so uncertain, allow me to report on something about which I know. Namely, our move from the Colorado Rockies to Meridian, Idaho, a suburb of Boise.

On Memorial Day, the patriotic Eagle Forest Wood Products of Eagle, Idaho, decided to honor this Veteran, Wonder Wife, and Prince, our Tibetan Sheepdog, with a Super King Air flight from Emily Warner Field in Granby, CO, to Boise, ID. Former Top Gun fighter pilot, John Flanagan, flew left seat and our dear friend Gordon Page, the founder of The Spirit of Flight Aviation Museum, now at the Nampa, Idaho Airport, flew as co-pilot. The generosity of all mentioned above substituted a two-hour flight for a 19-hour drive. We are eternally grateful to all.

For the previous 31 years, we lived and wrote from our home overlooking Lake Granby (our Walden Pond). For health reasons, we swapped living at 8,400 feet above sea level for 2,500 feet. We also swapped 31 years of living almost all by ourselves in the Rocky Mountain woods between Granby and Grand Lake with only one full-time neighbor. Only when we made the twenty-mile roundtrip drive into Granby or when we had to go over the 11,303-foot Berthed Pass to Denver for medical appointments (5 hours round trip.), did we encounter strangers. Probably, why we never had Covid. Thus, finding ourselves suddenly in a new home surrounded by neighbors in a city of over 20,000 produced some rather comical situations.

Our Lake Granby home had all the modern appliances: microwave, electric oven, dishwasher, washer and dryer whose non-AI controls we mastered. But our brand-new home in Meridian confronts us with control panels that must be under Central AI Control from Hell.

First, we managed to lock the microwave. A glowing green panel dared us to do something. After stabbing at several buttons, we heated some soup.

The spanking-clean oven dared us to mess it up. So, for two weeks, we clung to the microwave. Finding the manual for the oven, we memorized it; however, we are still too intimidated to use the oven. As for the stovetop, who would blink first? It did. But we are tiring of scrambled eggs, by now. The front of the dishwasher presented no trace of an "on" button. For three weeks, we hand washed the dishes until a nice neighbor -- everyone here is nice -- showed us how to start the dishwasher. The clothes washer proved especially AI-malicious. It refused to operate until we bought a certain brand of cleaner and used it. After three weeks, clean clothes are nice

For Prince, there is a fenced yard full of green grass, something we did not have back in the forest, just rocks, yew and sage brushes that required zero watering You know, like no need for a hidden, automatic lawn-sprinkler system.

The AI Devil waited until all three of us were as far away from shelter as we could possibly get when it let loose with a Niagara of drenching water.

On second thought, America’s uncertain political situation does not seem as daunting as trying to cook, wash dishes, wash clothes, and walk the dog in rain gear.

©2024. William Hamilton.

Dr. Hamilton can be contacted at:

Email: drwm.hamilton@gmail.com

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